{"id":362,"date":"2011-08-15T12:24:56","date_gmt":"2011-08-15T12:24:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jobshuk.com\/seedsofparenting\/?p=362"},"modified":"2011-08-15T12:24:56","modified_gmt":"2011-08-15T12:24:56","slug":"emotional-baseline-3-seed-13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jobshuk.com\/seedsofparenting\/2011\/08\/15\/emotional-baseline-3-seed-13\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotional Baseline 3 (Seed 13)"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><strong>Unconditional Giving that the Child Appreciates<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h3>No expectations with no strings attached<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h3>Plan for maximum two weeks (or simply mention it that often)<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h3>Involve your child. Let him in on the plan. Point it out, direct his attention towards it &#8212; so he may come to appreciate it<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h3>Doesn\u2019t have to be a toy or object: The goal is to make your child feel loved, appreciated, accepted and understood<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Unconditional giving<\/span>: You should occasionally (once every ten days to two weeks) give the child something other than meeting his basic needs just because you love him. If you are expecting a \u201cthank you\u201d then it\u2019s not unconditional.<\/h3>\n<h3>This should only be done every two weeks or so because too much unconditional giving can backfire. For example, if you make a child\u2019s bed one morning because you see he is running late \u2014 that is an unconditional <em>chessed<\/em>. However, if you continue to do this for next two weeks he will come to expect it. When we give him something unconditionally we have to point it out to him because he will not necessarily notice.<\/h3>\n<h3>The giving does not have to be a present. It can be a favor \u2014 cleaning up his Lego&#8217;s one day because you see he\u2019s tired, ironing a special outfit that your daughter forgot to prepare the night before, going against your nature to do something you really think the child would appreciate. When we supply their basic needs (washing their clothes, feeding them, etc.) we can NEVER expect appreciation!!<\/h3>\n<h3>Can you imagine how you would feel if once every two weeks someone did something that you really appreciate just because they care about you? This small action makes a child feel loved and appreciated. Teenagers really appreciate this because they are used to being on their own and taking care of everybody else.<\/h3>\n<h3>In general, don\u2019t expect too much appreciation from your kids.<\/h3>\n<h3>It is possible to give too much. A mom who gives-in all the time doesn\u2019t love her kids; she loves herself. She\u2019s doing her children a disservice because she doesn\u2019t want to feel guilty, she can\u2019t bear to hear them scream or she doesn\u2019t want to be the bad guy. You have to be confident that you are doing the best thing for your kids by setting appropriate limitations.<\/h3>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 13px;line-height: 11px;color: #352d26\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<div class='shareinpost'><ul class=\"socialwrap row\"><li class=\"iconOnly\"><a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/blog_this.pyra?t&amp;u=https%3A%2F%2Fjobshuk.com%2Fseedsofparenting%2F2011%2F08%2F15%2Femotional-baseline-3-seed-13%2F&amp;n=Emotional+Baseline+3+%28Seed+13%29&amp;pli=1\" title=\"Share this post : Emotional Baseline 3 (Seed 13) on Blogger\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/jobshuk.com\/seedsofparenting\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/images\/blank.gif\" height=\"16\" style=\"background: transparent url(http:\/\/jobshuk.com\/seedsofparenting\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/default\/16\/sprite-16.png) no-repeat;padding:0;margin:0;height:16px;width:16px;background-position:-34px 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Let him in on the plan. Point it out, direct his attention towards it &#8212; so he may come to appreciate it Doesn\u2019t have to be a toy or &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jobshuk.com\/seedsofparenting\/2011\/08\/15\/emotional-baseline-3-seed-13\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Emotional Baseline 3 (Seed 13)&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"author":973,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[56,60,57,58,59,55],"class_list":["post-362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-101","tag-backfire","tag-chessed","tag-child","tag-lego","tag-scream","tag-unconditional-giving","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Emotional Baseline 3 (Seed 13) | Unconditional Giving<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jobshuk.com\/seedsofparenting\/2011\/08\/15\/emotional-baseline-3-seed-13\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Emotional Baseline 3 (Seed 13) | Unconditional Giving\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Unconditional Giving that the Child Appreciates No expectations with no strings attached Plan for maximum two weeks (or simply mention it that often) Involve your child. 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Let him in on the plan. 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