An Open Letter to the Jews Accused of Controlling International Finance and The Media: I’d Like to Apply for a Job!

 

An Open Letter to the Jews Accused of Controlling International Finance and The Media:

I’d Like to Apply for a Job!

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March 17, 2010,

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Dear International Jewish Banking and Media Heads (a.k.a. "The Conspirators"),

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Good day to you! My name is Yonatan Maisel.

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I am, by my very nature, a skeptic. I am, after all, an enlightened and reasonably-educated person, but one who is aware that entire industries are, and have been, built on the backs of conspiracy theories.

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There is the 9/11 conspiracy which states that it was George Bush Jr. and the U.S. Government who carried out the devious and despicable attacks which brought down the Twin Towers. There is the theory that the U.S. Government is in possession of an alien spacecraft that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico in the 50s. The Kennedy assassination spawned theories of a 2nd gunman on the "grassy knoll." And the list goes on. I, myself, take these wild theories with the proverbial grain of salt.

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Then there is the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion-esque" theory that Jews secretly control International Banking, Finance and the Media. Not a few Jews, rather, a vast, global network. Again, I take this with a grain of salt.

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Well, truth be told…I used to take it that way. You see, in the past week, I have read two more articles, putting forth, expounding and perpetuating this theory. They piqued my curiosity, causing me to look into the matter further via the portal of information where everything fit-to-print must be true…yes, the Internet. The result? So widespread are these theories (not just by Neo-Nazis and anti-Semites…but also by seemingly educated, worldy, scholars) that I began to think there might just be some truth to it.

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I will mention here that I am Jewish. Not just because I will be asking you for a favor. Rather, I see my Jewishness as a shield to prevent me from being called anti-Semitic or bigoted for having penned this letter.

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Based on the assumption that you are indeed in control of the previously mentioned business-conglomerates, I would like to ask you for a job.

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I am a freelance-writer. A good one, but as is the case with most, a struggling one. Clients here, clients there and plenty of downtime in between. I guess it’s my fault though…I’m, at least as far as "they" say, supposed to be a doctor or a dentist.

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So it is to you whom I turn. Those supposedly in charge of these major global industries, these bastions of commerce and information. With the unlimited power at your fingertips would it be too much to ask you to pull a few strings and bring me on board? I’m hard working and industrious. While my goal, unlike yours, is not world domination…it is simply a regular paycheck, I feel that I could contribute greatly.

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As you are accused of being a vast, organized, worldwide network, I fully expected that you would have a central office where I could send my resume and writing samples. Unfortunately, however, it seems that you have neglected to publicize this information. Google shows a lot of information pertaining to the theory itself, however, I fail to find a website, e-mail address, postal address or your phone number.

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I’m perplexed; unsure how to proceed.

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My resume, portfolio and testimonials are ready to go. I believe that upon seeing them you will be duly impressed. All I need is your contact information.

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I anxiously await your reply.

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Sincerely,

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Your "Partner in Conspiracy"

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Yonatan Maisel

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Dear Reader, If you have enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek piece, please consider giving it a Re-Tweet:

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Image Credits: Conspiracy Theory Alert: www.brainpickings.org;  Keyboard: www.diomedia.com 

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Yonatan Maisel is a Business blogger, history buff and author. He specializes in all aspects of Business writing.

From speeches to resumes, from corporate bios to research, from blogging to website content, from articles to ghost-writing, he provides the highest level of quality at a very reasonable price.

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Join the Conversation

4 Comments

  1. Shosh,

    Thanks for your valuable and valued feedback.

    The inspiration as I stated were two articles i read this week. one was from a high-ranking european official who blamed world-control of baking by jews for all of the current financial problems…she claimed it was a plot to destroy international currency and make all subservient to the Jews.

    Sounds like a powerful group of plotters!

    Yoni

  2. Devon,

    Yes, conspiracy theories can be interesting. They spread libel without having anything of substance to back them up.

    Satire, as a response can be an interesting and powerful tool 🙂

    Yoni

  3. Heidi,

    Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed!

    As far as those who believe the conspiracy theory? I should dedicate this post to Mel Gibson!

    Yoni

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