A Recipe for Daily Touch
Physical touch that’s mutually enjoyable: A child who is not getting enough physical touch in appropriate ways will make sure he gets it in less acceptable ways (hitting, bumping into people, etc.). Physical touch provides an emotional need. This physical touch has to be mutually enjoyable. Don’t force kisses and hugs on a child who doesn’t like them. Find other ways to touch him: pat his back, stroke his finger when you pass him. Since touch becomes less comfortable when a child gets older, people do it less. A parent who does not give a child physical touch is putting the child at risk. He may not react properly if someone touches him inappropriately and/or will seek touch from potential dangerous sources.
A young child should be touched 4-6 times an hour which is really very easy to accomplish between holding, wiping, changing, playing, etc. Sensory children are in need of more. Children who are physically needy may be touched 10-12 times an hour. A child who needs to be touched 20 times an hour is sending a message that you are ignoring some other emotional needs. 20 is too much.
A mom who doesn’t like to be touched should initiate touch with her child rather than wait for the child to touch her in ways she may not like.
