The Chovos HaLevavos says that there is no grey area when dealing with others. There is only black and white. Thus, a child should only be judged by his actions, not by the intention we project on him. Analyze each situation and focus only on what the child actually did. If what he did was not bad, then it was good. We also do not take into consideration the future of a particular behavior. We treat each individual according to what is appropriate NOW, not according to yesterday or tomorrow or five years from now.
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